Emotional Rollercoaster

by Jenna Donovan
25 Jul 2012 00:41 (updated 25 Jul 2012 00:41) | 0 comment(s)

I have never had such a plethora of emotions in one week in my life. At least not that many that were my own. Most of it has been good, except for that day.

I say that day in reference to the day Quin came back from Vegas. It was supposed to be this nice, light get together to celebrate the fact that his team won. Only the kitchen was a mess, and then Quin came home with his 'friend' who was all over him.

I really don't know what I was hurt by worse; the fact that it was so obvious the pair had slept together, or the fact that he jumped to the conclusion that I'd had sex with Chance, and was there making him breakfast.

Me? Making breakfast? Unless it's a bowl of cereal, that's laughable first off. But for him to assume that I'd just hop into having sex with Chance the minute he's out of the State? That was insulting. I am not that type of girl.

Admittedly, I do like Chance, and I had been thinking of ways to tell Quin that I just wasn't ready for the type of commitment he was looking for, and that after the movie night with Chance I'd made up my mind about what I wanted…

But then all hell broke loose that day. The green goo, the strange girlfriend, and ohhhh right. Shiv and Chance in the shower together.

My brain couldn't handle it all. I went into emotional overload. Just on my own. Then add in Shiv's hurt and confusion, and Chance's confusion, and Quin's anger that I was upset, and the strange girl laughing? I had to get out of there. I'm sure my actions could be construed as immature, but I'm an empath. The emotional levels were high and I needed to focus on my own at that moment. So I left.

Chance found me later in the stairwell, and I got a bit of it off my chest. Not all of it, but I tried to explain things. Quin did tell me that he was bringing a friend with him to Vegas. A girl. But that they were just friends.

Pfft. Right.

They definitely weren't just friends when they came home.

So I was hurt, angry, confused, and humiliated.

It took a few days to calm down. Not with Siobhan or Chance. I mean, talking to them was easy. I know Siobhan wouldn't have done that to Harper, and I know that the shower was necessary because they got potion burns. That didn't stop me from freaking out when I saw it, or saying hurtful things to my best friend.

I was mean. I was angry, and hurting, and I was mean. That's a state I'm rarely ever in, and I felt like crap after that. I tried to text and call Shiv about it, but she was ignoring her phone.

By Thursday though, things were good. Shiv and I went dress shopping. I found the best dress to knock Chance's socks off for the Ball. Friday I had lunch with Pres and it was like… the last semester of him being gone never even happened.

Saturday was simply amazing. Mani/pedis, the spa, the hairdresser's, getting ready for the Ball, and Chance coming to pick me up. The look on his face when I opened the door was enough to tell me that he was actually looking at me as something other than a friend. That honestly made my heart soar. I needed that after the previous week.

Not only that, but he gave me a beautifully large bouquet of white roses and he lent me an exquisite ruby necklace that was a family heirloom. It matched my dress perfectly! He's got such a good eye for things, and he seems to really know what I like.


I could very easily fall in love with him.

Except things are still messy, and I know that it seems that he's being chosen by default… and that's not the truth at all.

Everyone was at the Ball, even Quin. I wasn't angry any longer. Subdued, because I know we need to sit down and talk, but not angry. I'm planning on talking to him, I just didn't want to do it at the Ball. The last thing any of us needed was more drama.

Chance was the perfect date to the Ball, and afterward we went to a hotel. We didn't do anything. Well besides talking, pigging out on awful food, watching a movie, and cuddling. It was honestly a perfect night. I love how easy and natural things seem between us. I noticed it on our movie night. I actually spent time in the kitchen that night without breaking anything, or ruining the pretzels. Just talking to him is amazing, and even if nothing else comes of it… I know that we're going to stay friends.

Sunday morning we went for brunch with the gang, and then Chance took me around Manhattan looking for the perfect vase for the roses. They look so pretty on one side of my vanity right now.

On the other side?


Aren't they beautiful? Chance sent me those this morning before my audition. On the card it said:

Good Luck! Whatever happens, don't forget you're already a star!

It's kept me smiling all day today. So much so that I totally blew them away at my audition this afternoon. The song I sang, the dance, the little monologue? It was all perfect.

I've got a really good feeling about this audition. They're letting us know about callbacks tomorrow, and I am not turning my phone off during class.


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