by Rene
26 Jun 2012 15:34 (updated 26 Jun 2012 15:34) | 0 comment(s)
"Anything I can help you with, Miss?" It's a store clerk. I'm currently in a pet shop. I'm a grown woman who lives alone. Normally that's fine but some days I just have a hard time, similar to after the party that my sister through for her favorite author.
"No, I'm okay. I'm honestly just looking." I smile warmly and I'm rather nice to him. He is just doing his job, a total stranger, and has no idea what is going on inside my own head.
Gabriel still looks like he did back then. I know it isn't due to plastic surgery. I don't believe that for one minute. I wonder what else he's lying about.
As the thoughts start swirling, or continue rather, I walk over to a clear glass cage with an open top that holds the rabbits. I pick one up, as the sign invites adults to do, and hold it while I think.
I get that he's upset with me, but it isn't exactly if I have any proof that he tried. When I could, I did try to find him. I waited for him to call, even if angry, to ask what happened. I had my bags packed for months. Yes, he's going to be upset with me, but he can't place all the blame on me. And I'd do it the same way if I had a chance to do it all over again.
I find myself actually petting the rabbit, which almost seems odd to me. It is carefully placed back in its temporary home and I keep walking. The small rodents aren't bad, but they're not to be held and I don't see how having any would be beneficial to me.
It's a good thing that Brooke had that security system installed at the shop.
Okay, even I have to shake my head to snap out of that thought. There's just no way that's even going to be needed.
He knows Kieran. I shouldn't obsess, it could be exactly what was said. But Gabe's already lying, and I still don't know enough to trust this perfect man of Brooke's. For all I know they're actually working together.
I keep walking, wandering, randomly looking at things. It's as if my body is on auto pilot.
I won't apologize for slapping him. He made me so angry. He still makes me angry. And frightened. And vulnerable. I haven't felt that way in quite a long time. I've been okay being alone. I can't let myself start falling back for this guy. This liar. He needs to finish his business, and quickly, and leave. I'll even try to help find out answers if it means he'll leave that must faster.
I still don't think that Brooke quite got the full gravity of the situation when I spoke with her. Perhaps now she does. That's a phone call that I just don't want to have. I can't keep ignoring my phone forever but for now I'm okay with the silence. I may have caused all of this, twelve years ago, but I can also push past it as I did then. It's just a bit startling, is all.
At this point I stop to realize that I'm holding a kitten. A flame-point Siamese with folded ears. I've never actually seen such a thing, and it's a good bit smaller than the others. Weird.
The worst part about it is that I don't really have someone to talk to. I'd normally talk to Brooke, but I'm not going to bother her with this. I've already let Regina know he's in town. I'm not going into detail with her about the two of us. Maybe I should invest in one of these pets or something.
By now the kitten has curled up in my arms. This isn't fair, especially considering the price tags on these things.
"I'll even give you a discount for the runt." The same man from before appears seemingly out of nowhere. Has he been following me the whole time?
"Oh, no. I wasn't actually looking to buy a cat when I came in here."
He looks me over, looks to the cat and laughs. "I tell you what. I'll put this one on hold. You'll be back."
Damn it.
